I feel sad tonight and don't really know why.
Sad may not even be the right word...maybe it's anxious...inadequate...discouraged.
Maybe it's because I'm still trying to live in a Hallmark commercial, but I can't.
In my world sisters are sometimes mean to each other for no reason. But if I was a better mother they would get along and love each other and be sweet all the time and be grateful and generous.
And my spending would stay under budget.
And everything I cooked would turn out perfectly, and my house would be clean--all of it, at the same time, for longer than 30 seconds.
And we would give more money to missions and the needy than we spend on ourselves at Christmas time.
And I would get involved in people's lives and share Jesus with them, confidently and lovingly, even if they didn't accept what I said.
And my hair would be neat and attractive, and I would remember to buy birthday cards and send them on time.
And I would be patient and fun and wise and consistent.
I almost didn't post this, but I figured somebody out there might be thinking they were the only imperfect ones with imperfect kids, so here you go.
8 comments:
Oh sister, we are all in the same imperfect boat! But you know what? You are an incredible, intentional mother and a loving wife. Your family is a JOY to be around. You exude the love of Jesus so even when aren't using words. You have been and still are an example to me of a Prov. 31 woman. I want to be like you when I grow up! I LOVE YOU!
I'm sure you are a neat person. So glad you aren't perfect - there's hope that you will still hang out with me...! LY even tho I've never met you.. Sisters for sure:)
I am thankful for my blogworld sisters--I love you too!
I'm glad you posted it. I feel at home with this post because I'm a big hot mess most of the time. My life is nothing like my Pinterest boards. All those cute ideas and delicious recipes when last week I fed my kids whatever I could dig out of the fridge and pantry because I had nothing planned, no ingredients, and no energy left to be creative.
i don't trust the perfect people because I don't think they're really real. But if they are, they wouldn't want to be my friend because I could never measure up.
So I'm glad you're imperfect, too. It means we can still be friends!
I've been hiding from the blog world because I've been feeling blue too. (for many of the reasons that you mention.) It's 2:15 am, my room is still a mess, the laundry didn't get started, I didn't shower today or brush my teeth, I finally put real pants on at 12:30 this afternoon because Matt was skyping with his sister and she could see me in the background in my jammies, I probably ate more candy than real food, I was impatient with my 14 month old son(!) because he wanted his mommy to pick him up and carry him around the house all.day.long., I forgot to call my sister on her birthday but had plenty of time to check facebook and read a mystery novel (which I did instead of cleaning my room. I have pictures - it really is as horrifying as it sounds), we had students over for dinner last night and I served them bland chicken and rice and cookies with too much butter in them.
And Whimzie, my fantasy football team is called Hot Mess because that's what I feel like most of the time.
Thank you for sharing. My heart has been heavy for its own reasons. There are times I yearn for the Hallmark commercial too. Sometimes reality is quite heavy, and there is already so much pushing down.
I know you are an amazing person Kecia. I believe you are a beautiful mother who is giving her girls a foundation that will support them for their entire lives.
Read this tonight and thought you might enjoy reading it, too. http://www.feminagirls.com/2011/12/20/why-do-we-give-gifts-anyway/
Michelle, I read it and it was very encouraging. Thanks!
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