January went by in a whirlwind and with a roller coaster of emotions. Obviously the most impactful thing that happened was my mother going to heaven on the 11th. Here are some thoughts I've had about this month, in no particular order:
My mom held my hand when I was in labor bringing my daughters into the world. I held her hand as she was leaving the world to be with Jesus. The two events are vastly different but strikingly similar.
Instead of holding everything in, I need to let God hold me together.
Maybe one of the best ways to worship is to trust God completely in everything.
Pulling over for a funeral procession really does mean something to those grieving. It made me feel like they were honoring my mother's life and acknowledging my grief.
For months (or even years) my mother questioned why God kept her on this earth, why He wouldn't take her home when she was miserable in this life and, in her mind, had no purpose. But in the last 4 days of her life, CNAs and nurses repeatedly came in my mom's room to say goodbye, crying and showing her affection. More than one said that hers was their favorite room to come in because it always felt so peaceful there. Without trying or even realizing it was happening, my mom was showing God's love and character to the people around her. She was making a difference in the lives of these men and women through the Holy Spirit in the most natural way. God always knows best.
One thing my mom taught me is to look for God's grace in the middle of the hardest circumstances- little things He does to let you know He cares, that He knows how hard it is and He is there to make things easier. Here are a few things He did for me:
-Gave me an easy left turn at a stressful place on the drive up (sounds silly but was a big relief)
-Made the rain stop on the rainy day every time my daughters and I were going to and coming from the car
-Played the song "It is well" on my mom's Alexa as she was taking her last breaths
-Answered a specific prayer of my youngest daughter in a way that is too difficult to put into words, but really made her feel heard and strengthened her faith
God is good all the time!
No comments:
Post a Comment