Reflections on February

 Do you pick a "word of the year" on January 1 instead of making a New Year's Resolution? I started doing that a few years ago, and it is usually a word that symbolizes a goal I have, like "considerate" or "engage". This year, the word that kept coming to mind and that I kept seeing in Scripture as I tried to decide was "hope". I had no idea at the time that God led me to that word in preparation for these last two months.

Less than a month after my mom's death, I got a heartbreaking phone call from Mike's brother pleading for us to pray for his one-year-old granddaughter as the EMTs worked to revive her. But it was too late. She had been in and out of the hospital with the flu and struggling to breathe, and she didn't make it. Precious Lottie is now in heaven. How do you process that? How do you comprehend the death of a toddler? I can't stop thinking about my nephew and his wife, and the pain and sorrow they have to endure. And their other 2 daughters, twin four-year-olds...how can they possibly deal with this? It feels overwhelming. 

But God. But HOPE. My hope is in the Lord, and so is theirs. 

I don't understand it. We will never understand it. But when I don't understand, I remember what I know. I remember who God is and what He has done for me. God is just, merciful, all-knowing, all-understanding, all-seeing, eternal, love, unchanging, good, all-powerful, always present, sovereign, supreme, truth, and more than I could ever even think. I choose to trust Him. No matter what.

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him...

Mike and I watched Lottie's service online, since we were unable to be there, and seeing the family walk in just about did us in, but when my nephew Ethan got up to speak...wow. I was amazed. Seeing him able to stand up there and speak without falling apart gave me hope that he was going to be okay. He read from Psalm 119:25-32, then he said this: “Our life is in the dust and we are weary from grief, but here we have a choice. We can be angry. We can be bitter. We can curse God, but that will not bring healing. That will not bring peace… there is only one place that we can go. And that is into the arms of our Lord."

There is still so much sadness, so much pain, and honestly so much worry. I love my family and I know their lives will never be the same. But I will always have hope. And so will they. 

Need more Bible verses about hope? Here are some I have found so far:

• Psalm 27:13-14
• Psalm 33:20-22
• Psalm 62:5-8
• Romans 15:13
• 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
• 1 Timothy 1:1
• 1 Timothy 4:10
• Titus 2:11-14
• Titus 3:7
• Hebrews 6:19-20
• Hebrews 10:23
• 1 Peter 1:3-4

To read more about Lottie and the impact her short life has had and is having, read this article. It includes a link to a Southern Baptist International Mission Board project in her name.