Reflections

When I first heard the news of Stacee's death, and got so upset, I was of course very sad for her family, but, I am ashamed to say, I was also being selfish. She and I weren't really close friends, but I had been praying for her healing, really praying, believing God was going to do a huge miracle and remove all the cancer, and when He didn't--well, I threw a hissy-fit.
He is so patient with me. Almost immediately He used facebook friends to lead me to the song, "No More Night," and reminded me that she really is healthy and whole and rejoicing in heaven. Really--it's real, not just something we say to try to feel better. (And I'm SO ready for the day we'll all be there together.)

Then He used another facebook friend to remind me of a play Mike and Stacee were in together...as a married couple, actually! She was this obnoxious character named Anoria, with wild sparkly sunglasses, and Mike was her mousy little husband. He gave her a pedicure and foot rub for most of the play! It was hilarious!! And it made me laugh to remember it.

I also remembered the first time I met her, visiting from Idaho, wandering through the preschool department at church, trying to figure out where my children went. She helped me out and made me feel comfortable leaving them with people that were strangers to them. I can't help loving people who are good to my children. Then we got to live in Conway for a year, and I got to know her better through awesome days at Wild River Country, working at VBS and in the nursery (She used to bring the teachers/workers candy mid-way through the service--you gotta love that!), and teaching at the preschool. Jessica and Mikayla both made professions of faith that year, and Stacee gave me books to work through with them.

One day last week, my devotion for the day included Psalm 34:18, which says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." And also Psalm 46:1, which is the verse God put in my mind when I got the news about my own Daddy's death: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

On Friday I drove back up to Conway and spent the night with Mom, so we could go to the funeral together on Saturday. It was a very sweet service, lots of people, lots of flowers. Lots of tears. Her young nephew, Joseph, sang a duet while we watched a wonderful slide show of her life and ministry...when he got choked up near the end, we all cried with him. When I saw pictures of activities my girls participated in with Mrs. Stacee, I was so thankful that God gave us that year in Conway, and let me know her. She really did live with such joy. When Bro. Dave got up to speak, he said that what he said probably wouldn't matter to Stacee as much as how he said it, so--and he ducked behind the podium and came up wearing Anoria's sunglasses and talking in her voice! It made us all smile. I think I looked at those sunglasses, above the coffin, the rest of the service.
It was a closed-casket funeral, and at the end they wheeled the coffin down the aisle and out the door. I hate that part. I know this sounds dumb, considering, but it is just so final. The last time we'll see her in this world. And her family just broke my heart.
We didn't go to the cemetery, but did get to hug a few family members in the foyer. Then I looked up and saw my friend Dana, who also worked at the preschool with me, holding her 5-day-old baby boy. He was so tiny and perfect and precious, and I thought, "He gives and takes away...Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Here's what her Dad wrote in the program:
Our Stacee went along home last night. Kidney cancer took her, but not before she could teach us more about life and death than we have learned in all our years before. For five and one-half months after her diagnosis, she endured the torture and looked death in the face with a courage we could not believe.
The last couple of months, she could talk barely or not at all. She made no religious statements. She wanted her children and the rest of us to simply know she loved us.
At the hospital she twisted in bed and whispered, "The pillow is not straight, Daddy, but I love you." I bit my lip. "I love you, too, Punkin', but what do you want me to do with the pillow?"
She was just exactly forty-eight on the day we took her to the hospital for the last time. Born March 7, 1961. She saw things and spelled words backwards, but she fought her way to the top. She had a BA degree and two Master degrees. She had a way of seeing things in their most simple forms and so had excellent communication with children. She was the Children's Minister at Woodland Heights Baptist Church when she died. She loved Brother Dave Hatfield, her "right arm" Marnie Osborne, and all the people of that church. They returned the love in great heaps. No obituary can ever sum up the life of such a pure soul.

April Fools!

My girls had entirely too much fun with April Fool's Day yesterday. Not to mention my husband! Here are the girls' attempts to fool/prank the Mommy:
1. Hid my shower gel.
2. Pounded on the bathroom door during my shower announcing that Mikayla had fallen off her bicycle and was BLEEDING! Followed by "Where are the band-aids?" and another announcement by Rebecca. That almost convinced me (no, I hadn't immediately stopped the shower and rushed to her rescue), but then I heard her go to her sisters and say, "I said it! I said it!" And when I did go to Mikayla, she had band-aids all over her legs but couldn't stop the grin.

3. (One of my favorites) Hid my home school lessons for the day! But I found them.
4. Hid my coffee creamer. Grr. I found that, too.
5. Hid our pillows. This was another good one; since we have decorative pillows/shams on the bed, we didn't discover they were missing until we went to bed at 10:30, and then couldn't find them! Mike woke Jessica up and she said they were under her bed.
Little scamp.

But Mike won the prize. I had choir practice after Cubbies, and we got done around 8:40. I was walking to the parking lot with one of our older ladies, chatting, and she said, "This is my car--where are you parked?" I said, "I'm here, too..." and started looking around. There were about 5 cars in the lot, and none of them were mine. I thought back to moving the car after Cubbies, and was sure of the exact spot where I parked, and it was not there. Another lady joined us by this time, and I was starting to panic. I had just pushed the button to call Mike when I looked up and over and saw my van around the corner, peeking out at me, and remembered the date. So when Mike answered, I just said, "Hi, honey, I'm on my way home." He said, "Okay..." and I could hear laughter in his voice. Then he asked if I found it, and I said yes, but not until after I'd called the police.

April Fools!

Happy Birthday, Rebecca!

Look how you've grown...

I'm sad and tired

This morning at the end of a very emotional worship service in Conway Bro. Dave said that their children's minister, Stacee, who has been fighting kidney cancer, would probably not live past today.
I got home around 5:30 this evening, and at 7:30 Mom called and said that Stacee had just passed away. Gone home. Died.
I hate death.
Stacee has 2 kids, young teenagers. Hudson may only be 12. She was just a few years older than me. I always picture her with a smile on her face and a lilt in her voice. She cared about my children.
I was praying for her to be healed, even today. I know she's "healed" now, and out of pain, and way better than I can even imagine. I know that.
But.
That's not what I meant.

Fun times with those crazy Stuarts

We celebrated Rebecca's birthday early again last night! This time we went to Larry's Pizza with my Mom and brother and his family. Larry's Pizza has a buffet, and on Friday nights they also have a "pizza parade." They walk around with the fresh pizza announcing what kind it is and you holler if you want some. I had loaded baked potato, chicken ranch, chicken alfredo, chocolate peanut butter, and chocolate chip. Mmm-mmm-mmm! They also had a game room so the girls got to play some arcade games.
After that we all came back to Mom's house for cake and ice cream--as if we had any room left! So first Rebecca opened some presents, and then we sang to her and those who wanted cake got it.

(I wish you could hear the singing...if you can call it that. When we finished, Mikayla said, "Whitney, you were a little off." So funny)

Then Kelli got out her "Dance Off the Inches" hip hop video and she and the girls tried it out. I tried a little, but I felt so clumsy! I had a hard time doing the moves. They were very entertaining, however!

Somehow after that we started playing with hair, and look at the crazy results:

Can you believe how brave Sally was?!


Mikayla did Whitney's, and wanted to do Tyler's (W's boyfriend) with the curling iron, but I didn't think that was such a good idea...

I didn't do anything to mine...

What a frustrating day

Yesterday I took my Mom (and the 3 girls) to buy a new oven, microwave, and refrigerator. We picked out what she wanted, but had to go home and re-measure the hole for the fridge to make sure it would fit. It wouldn't. So she called and asked for the smaller one. All good. Delivery was set up for today, after her eye dr. appt. But the fridge won't be in until next week, and an electrician had to come do the microwave, and the oven has a weird cord thing going on, so the electrician has to come back again tomorrow. In the middle of all that I got a text from Mike's brother that he was on his way to help their sister Jeannie move their mom into a kind of assisted living home. She told me the name, but I can't remember. It's kind of in-between nursing home and assisted living. And it was necessary. So I called Jeannie and talked a while, and she's okay. But it's really hard. Please pray for the Sandusky family. I also tried to copy my mini-DV video tapes from when Rebecca was a baby onto regular-sized video tapes, so we can actually watch them, because it wouldn't work at our house, and it wouldn't work here either. Sigh. And I kept dropping carrots making salad for supper. And my chin got hit with a car door.
Okay, I'll stop whining now.

Walk in the woods

After spending the morning at the air force base renewing Mom's I.D. card, the girls and I went for a walk in the woods. Now, Mike and my dad always laughed and rolled their eyes at how Mom and I "hike," because we stop and oooh and aaah over every little pretty thing God created. Since they weren't here and Mom can't really participate anymore, I brought my camera along and took pictures of every little thing that made me oooh and aaah.


I love seeing the grape vines wrapping around all the trees.

Jessica and Mikayla built "dams" in Pickle's Gap Creek.
Until Mikayla became terrified by the bumblebee.
The native Canadians built these little rock men to mark trails and good hunting spots. I built this one by the creek. :)

This is called a "maypop". The green bud will be a white flower, then a green ball seed pod thingy. You throw it on the ground and it may pop and it may not!


All the green in the picture below is ivy growing on a fallen tree.

I can't describe or take a decent picture of the carpet of wildflowers spring brings to my Mom's land. I love, love, love it every time I see it!