10 on the Tenth

This month I'm joining Meredith's 10 on the Tenth (which also happens to be 10/10/10!) with unsolicited words of advice for random new or soon-to-be moms, with no-one in particular in mind, who may or may not be having a baby this month. These are things I either learned the hard way or am still figuring out, NOT things I have mastered and perfected. So maybe, if I have any readers in that category, this will help them avoid some of my mistakes.
1. Pick and choose. Let me explain: read parenting magazines/books/blog posts, but don't feel like you have to do everything they say. You and your husband know yourselves and what you want your family to look like. Take the advice you think will work for you, and smile politely and forget the rest. And remember that your baby has a mind of his/her own, and they didn't read the magazine/book/blog post!
2. (And I know you've heard this a lot) Sleep when you can. And don't feel guilty for it. On the day when you sit down during baby's afternoon nap with your Bible and prayer list and the next thing you know you've both been asleep for an hour and a half, thank your Father for letting you take a nap on His lap. One day you'll be a Bible scholar again.
3. Pray as you go. And as much as you can. Keeping above advice in mind, this is no time to let your relationship with God slide. Pray as you feed and rock that precious one. Pray as you fold those tiny clothes. Get in the habit of praying out loud. Sing praise songs. Since you don't have time for in-depth Bible study, pick a verse that meets a current need and meditate on it throughout the day or week or however long you need.  Put it all over the house to remind you.
4. Survive the first few weeks. Hopefully your baby was/will be an angel baby who smells sweet, nurses perfectly from the beginning, falls asleep on their own and stays asleep for hours or even all! night! long! But mine weren't. (Although Mikayla was close.) (She's making up for it now.) (Just kidding.) (Sort of.) When Jessica was born, Mike and I had lofty goals of doing exactly what our Babywise book said, from day one. Now, Babywise is a great book with great advice which I definitely recommend (see #1) but day one was no place to start. At least for us. I so wish that we had just enjoyed her tiny-ness and her needy-ness, and yes, even her sleeplessness, somehow. Sleep training and routine setting can start a few weeks into life without completely inverting the funnel.
5. Accept help. We were so stupid. My parents came to help when Jessica was born, and when she wouldn't stop crying in the middle of the night, they were so willing to help, and we were saying, "Well, it'll just be us when you leave, so we might as well get used to it." What were we thinking??? We should have said, "Well, it'll just be us when you leave, so we might as well SLEEP!"
6. It's okay to leave your child with a good sitter/nursery worker. Maybe better than okay! Not only do you need me-time and couple-time, but it also teaches your little one that when you leave...you come back! No worries!
7. Assume they understand what you're saying. They will soon, anyway, and it'll help you get in the habit of not saying things you shouldn't in front of them. Along the same lines, pretend you understand what they're saying. It'll help you get in the habit of listening to them. Eventually they'll have some pretty amazing things to say. Which you better share with your friends in blogworld!
8. Take a break. If/when they're crying and crying and crying and you've tried everything and you don't know what to do and you feel like screaming back at the baby---put.the.baby.down. He/she can cry quite safely in their crib or bassinet. Ask hubby to help if he's available and calmer than you are, or just go outside and take a few deep breaths or do jumping jacks or whatever helps you release steam (#3) before you go back to baby.
9. Breast is best, but some good moms DO have to/choose to use formula. If you do, avoid Carnation at all costs! It may be cheaper, but the stinky poo isn't worth it! Trust me on this one.
And last but not least...
10. Throw perfectionism out the window. You aren't perfect. Your spouse isn't perfect. Your child(ren) aren't perfect. You will all mess up. That's why we all need Jesus. I can't tell you how many times I've prayed words I learned from my friend Kim: Lord, please protect them from my mistakes. Sometimes I'm trying so hard to do everything right, get everything done, be all things to all people, that I forget to just enjoy my family and my life and LIVE. Focus on my kids, not my agenda. Listen and laugh and be affectionate. Live the moment.
There's so much more I could say. So much I wish I could do over. You have started/are about to start an amazing journey. It's going to be great.
Readers, anything to add?