September 15, 1999

Every year on September 15, I remember. I don't wallow in it, but I remember because I think it's important to remember. So, Angie, you requested a journal entry from college, but first I need to copy one from Aug. 6, 2000--the earliest I could bring myself to write about what happened. I added a few things for clarification, but for the most part it's word for word from my journal. We were living in Moscow, Idaho. At the time of the shooting, Jessica was 18 months old and I was pregnant with Mikayla.

I hardly know how to begin, but I want to write this out, so I'll just do it.

September 15, 1999, was a beautiful day. I spent time outside with Jessica, and felt so happy. It was a Wednesday, and even though there was no nursery, I decided to take her and go to prayer meeting at our church. Mike couldn't go because he had a freshman Bible study. So Jessica and I walked out the front door, and were going down the front steps when I heard Mike yell, "Kecia, come here--there was a shooting at Wedgwood!" I grabbed Jessica and ran back inside. I sat on the couch by Mike as we both stared at the TV news coverage, mesmerized and horrified and shocked. This was our church, where we had met, dated, got engaged & spent the first year of our marriage. I had been a member there for 5 years, the longest I'd been at any church. We saw Coach Brown frantically looking for Jaynanne, because all he'd heard was she'd been taken to the hospital with a head wound. We also saw her, being wheeled to an ambulance on a gurney, head bandaged, shock all over her face. We heard that several people had been killed, others wounded, and that the shooter had killed himself. That's all they knew then, and as shook up as I was, I went on to church to ask them to pray. I started crying when I tried to tell them, and couldn't stop. A friend came up and patted me, and they prayed. I've always wished I'd gone home then, but for some reason I stayed and tried to act normal. I finally went home and got Jessica to bed and glued myself to the TV again, trying to find out who had been killed. The death toll eventually reached 8, including the shooter. Finally, my friend Karry called. I will never forget that moment. She said, "Have you heard?" And I said, "Just what's on TV, was anyone I know shot?" And she said, "Sydney." Everything seemed to go black and I couldn't breathe for a minute as I reached for Mike. He asked, "Who, who?" and I choked out "Sydney" and he said he knew it. It just was so like her to be there. She was sitting in the foyer by Jaynanne and Glynda, and was shot in the head, 3 times. One of them grazed Jaynanne, and that's how she got hurt, but she was okay. I heard one of the youth in an interview crying, saying she saw one of her choir teachers on her way out with blood where her head should be, and I know that was Sydney, and I can't get those words out of my head. I can't get that picture out of my head. And I couldn't help but think that if we had still lived there, I would've been sitting in that same spot. We always sat together in choir. She was so crazy--so full of life. Had a sharp sense of humor and a tender heart. I will never forget her. Mike and I both wanted to go to the memorial services so bad, but there was no way, especially with me being 4 1/2 months pregnant, and our finances being what they were. But my heart was breaking for and with my church family. It was so hard to comprehend--still is. And then to see them worship and spread the gospel in the midst of the tragedy--what a victory! Oh we wanted to be there so desperately. I still want to go. But I know God has us here for a reason, too.

I still can't believe it really happened.

Later I learned that another friend, Kevin Galey, was shot but survived, and kids I had babysat and taught VBS and children's choir to were there that night, spared by the grace of God. In September of 2000, my precious husband sent me and our 7 month old Mikayla to Fort Worth so we could go to the one year memorial service. It was a tough time with lots of tears, but it was so healing to be around others who knew and understood and felt the same way I did. It was the only "funeral" my friend Amy, who lives in Florida, and I could go to. And to see those who actually lived through it worship God with amazing joy was such an inspiration.

Today, 6 years later, it's still hard to believe it really happened. This summer my family went to a reunion at Wedgwood, and Kevin Galey gave us the book Night of Tragedy, Dawning of Light. It's good, but is taking me forever to read because it's so emotionally draining I can't do more than a chapter at a time. I've read some things I didn't know before. Literally hundreds of people--HUNDREDS, mostly teenagers--were saved in the days immediately after the shooting. Because one of the victims had grown up in Saudi Arabia, lots of video footage was shown there, including gospel presentations--in a land where the gospel is against the law! Satan thought he was striking a blow on the family of God, but God worked even this horrible tragedy for good...according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) And in the words of Bro. Al that night..."we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) Praise to our Heavenly Father--He is the victorious one! He is good, and He reigns, forever and ever.